Saturday, August 25, 2012

Who's your daddy?

Today, I read in the local newspaper about the "division" among Tennessee Republicans over the proposed Republican platform plank, which, according to the article in The Tennesseean,* states that

The GOP platform calls for outlawing abortion in all circumstances. No exceptions.

This prompted me to write, with a heavy heart, this little satirical piece:

My Dear Child,

I know you will find this hard to understand, but it is very important that we know who your daddy is.

You see, if he is married to your mommy, then that's good. If your mommy and daddy are partners and you are what we called in the old days a love child, I can go with that.

But you see, if your daddy is some stranger who came in the window one night and brutally attacked your  mommy, and in the process, you were conceived, then, . . . well you see, don't you?

You see, if they catch your daddy, then he will be, hopefully, locked up for a few years, and when he gets out, I am sure he will be rehabilitated, and never do that again. And maybe your mommy will eventually forget about that terrible night and about you.

If your daddy is also your cousin, then I am sure you would not want to be embarrassed by having him around at birthday parties and Christmas, and, well, again, . . . it would be very uncomfortable for all of us, don't your see?

You do understand that I am pro-life, don't you?

                                                                  Your loving uncle,
                                                                  P. C.

It seems that in much of our society it is of grave importance who your daddy is, because, if he is the wrong person, you become the second victim in this terrible chain of events.

Your daddy gets jail time, maybe,
and you get the death penalty.

*This story made the paper edition of the Knoxville News Sentinel, but I could not find it at Knoxnews dot com.

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Disclaimer: The information and ideas presented in this column are provided for informational purposes only. Gun rights, like all other Constitutionally recognized rights, must be exercised responsibly. Firearms, like cars, kitchen knives and life itself all can be dangerous. You should get professional training as part of any plan to use firearms for any purpose. I have made a reasonable, good-faith effort to assure that the content of this column is accurate. I have no control over what you do, and specifically accept no responsibility for anything you do as a result of reading my columns. Any action or lack of action on your part is strictly your responsibility.

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